March 7, 2007

• I wrote (again?)

  I wrote 3 pages last night.  It was hard.  By that I mean, it took a long time.  But it wasn't as hard as drudging through a full day at work.  Oh, if only I could have my youth back.  What opportunities there were to spend countless hours making no money.  But it was wasted, going through motions, doing what other people wanted me to do, or what I thought I was supposed to.  Which brings me to what else is on my mind.

  We don't choose.  I don't believe we choose, at least not much.  I don't feel like I have chosen much that has happened to me.  Now, it helps to think like that because I am often regretful, and I can stop that if I didn't really choose it.  I just went with a flow.  I followed. I mean, call me a coward, if you want, it is probably what I am, and if my kids hate me later because they were not happy and I said I didn't choose anything, and they said, "why not?", then they're right, and please forgive me.  That's just what I'll have to live with (for example).

  I am concerned they're not happy.  Probably because they complain a lot, playing me.  But I do sometimes wonder, "where's the quality time."  At least with me, I'm not saying they don't have any.  Good thing I didn't have coffee or I would really be depressed.  I'm holding up honest.  I just want to write that's all.

   

  • 8:12 am
  • 2 Comments