So, yesterday I was emptying the dishwasher and when suddenly I was distracted by a thought and the next thing I knew I was pulling glasses out of the cabinets and putting them back in the dishwasher.  It was as if someone had put me in reverse.  It couldn’t have been mindless habit, I didn’t forget that the dishwasher was clean, for example.  I was taking things out of the cabinets!  I never do that.  It was more like I forgot what time it was, specifically I forgot that time moves forward.

I had a cousin that died, when I was 10.  I don’t think about her all the time, and who even knows if I remember her right, but I think my oldest daughter reminds me of her when reminding me of our common grandmother.   A certain smile or a certain enthusiasm.  I didn’t realize how difficult that was for the family when it happened.  It wasn’t a complete surprise, except maybe for the timing.  She had a congenital defect that was going to make it inevitable, I believe.  Not that you ever really know what medical miracles could be possible if you survive long enough. 

My wife lost a cousin this July 4^th.  He was 34.  Some kind of prescription meds mix up.  The details aren’t real easy to come by.  But it was a surprise.  Pictures from his son in the casket with him.  Guilt from a friend (involved in the mixup?)  Forgiveness from his mother.  People that don’t see each other anymore, back together again. 

I remember that the phone kept ringing in the middle of the night.  One time I answered it to find my dad talking with his sister.  “It’s ok, Andy, I’ve got it,” he said, and I went back to sleep.

Tomorrow is 4^th of July, a time to reflect on things like freeing Osama Bin Laden… oh wait, he is free.  No really, I enjoyed the 4^th more when I was younger, and not just cause of the fireworks, but because of the idealism.  I’m looking forward to a party, having the day off, but I’m just down on patriotism a bit.  Nationalism, really, but that’s what most people call patriotism these days.  Nationalism is the love of your country, by its name, no matter what it does.  Nationalism is pride beyond reason, as if you had a choice where you were born.  To me patriotism is to principles revered by this country’s founders and others who came after them, and therefore also to the same ideals wherever they exist in the world.  Our country, admit it or not, doesn’t always live up to those principles, but there are always people fighting for them, at least.  We as a people have at times gotten further in securing liberties for the people than most places. But as Thomas Jefferson said, “eternal vigilance is the price of liberty.”  So let’s remember, this 4^th, those original patriots, like Thomas Jefferson, who knew what freedom really was, even if they didn’t realize yet that it should apply to women and black people and Native Americans... 

I always forget how fortunate I am.  I don't take enough time to write (to BE ME), but I could!.  Fear of a financial downturn drives me harder.  Soon nothing is enough, and I no longer think I have the luxuries I do.  And then I don't appreciate what I’ve got because I don’t use it. 

Of course there could be a downturn.  But what is the point of being fortunate, if you don’t use it to your advantage.  If hard times befall me, I want to be able to say, “once I had it good, and I made the best of it.” (and if I get there again, I know I will do it once more).

So the lesson is - trust yourself to handle things if they were to get worse, so that you can give up your fear, and take the risk that is required to live the life you really can have.

When we judge someone we prevent ourselves from understanding that person.  Trying to get someone who judges another to understand that they have hurt that person by judging them is a lost cause.  If they could feel what that person feels, they would not be judgmental, but they are, so we already know that attempts to inspire them to empathize will be futile. 

So why else is it wrong to judge?

Better to think of it from the standpoint of self-interest.  If you judge me, for being a homosexual (I’m not), or for smoking cigarettes (I don’t) or for not “loving” Jesus the way that you “don’t” love Jesus (ok, you got me there), then you limit yourself from knowing my perspective.  If you decided I’m wrong for being this way, you are no longer going to try to understand it.  Why is that bad for you?  Unless you are scared you will become like me, there’s no harm in understanding why I like to be the way I am.  I’m not saying people aren’t wrong, but if I am wrong, then you have nothing to fear.  If I am wrong, it still helps you to understand WHY I am that way, and to act with compassion towards me, maybe help me (in ways I want to be helped).  Maybe I’m not AS wrong as you thought.  And if I’m not wrong.  And if, and this is possible, especially when  refusing to understand, you are wrong, then you are denying yourself something you should learn.

I see someone driving their car, smoking a cigarette, taking a curve a bit fast.  It looks like fun.  I understand the appeal.  I bet it feels like freedom.  Do I want to smoke?  No.  Do I want to drive fast?  Probably not.  But I get him, and it makes me feel larger, like I am part of something larger to understand him.  I might still tell him to be careful.

But when we judge others, we exclude ourselves from part of the world that we live in.  I’d prefer to be part of it.  I’ll influence it, if I can and when I want to, but in any case I want to know it.  That is what I am a part of whether I like it or not.  And it can’t but help us to understand each other.  Look how much conflict arises, minor and major in this sad world because people don’t understand each other. 

There is a phrase people like to use.  “I don’t get that.”  It’s an interesting contradiction, I think.  It is used by people as an expression of judgment meaning “It doesn’t make any sense.”  But here’s the thing.  If something really doesn’t make any sense, that is often the first clue that there is actually something you aren’t understanding.  Instead of thinking that you do understand it, and that someone is just “sick” or “evil” or “perverted” think instead maybe, literally, that you don’t get that.

Then try. 

I’m writing this to ask everyone I know to consider boycotting Chase Bank.  It’s not, this time, because they support causes we don’t like, invest in bad countries, fix elections or anything like that.  It’s actually because they take advantage of people in banking.  It’s not often that one is asked to boycott a business for reasons that are so on point.  Chase goes about its work in such a way as to intentionally and blatantly take advantage of people, not just to the point of penalizing excessively for one mistake, although they do that, not just tricking people into making mistakes, although they do that, but even when they don’t make a mistake.  Take your business away from them, not just for me, not just to punish them, but to protect yourself from these kinds of practices in general.

This isn’t just me.  The Senate has been having some hearings on unethical practices by the three major credit card companies, Chase being the worst of them.  Chase has more customer complaints, particularly regarding credit card practices, than any other bank.  When I read other people’s accounts, not only about what Chase was doing, but how they hung up on people that called customer service, I was not deterred.  Because what they were doing to me was clearly wrong, and those other people must have gotten extremely nasty.  I called.  I made my case, careful not to make it personal (the person on the phone, after all, wasn’t Chase).  I talked to a supervisor.  Everyone I spoke to refused to acknowledge that what they had done to me was unfair.  They answered questions that I didn’t ask.  And when I continued to press them and qualify my point in many different ways, they hung up on me, presumably for not listening to them.

That’s why I’m writing this.  That’s why I’m writing my Senators and the Senators that have been holding those hearings.  That’s why I’m posting on Chase complaint sites.  That’s why I’m thinking of suing them.  That’s why I’m certainly taking my business away (although I’d prefer to require them to keep their agreement with me).

Those of you who know me know that my wife and I are both accountants.  You should also know that we have great credit.  We play defense against the common practices of credit card companies, but Chase committed a foul.

This is what they did, and if you have a chase credit card, watch for this.  I had accepted an offer to carry a balance for the low rate of 3.82 until the balance was paid off in full, a better rate than my equity line, so I put a rather large balance on there.  We wanted to set up automatic payments, but since due dates can change (another trick to be aware of) we set up a recurring payment every week.  Also when we got the bill, we would pay additional amounts, in order to insure that no matter what period the payments were counted, we would at least make the minimum required each week. 

In most cases, every case in my experience until now, if a payment posts to a particular statement, it is counted towards that statement’s minimum required.  That’s because the due date corresponds with the end of the statement cycle.  Chase put their due date in the middle of their cycle.  In other words, for one particular statement that covered activity from Apr 12 – May 11, the due date for the previous statement’s balance was May 1.  Therefore some of the payments that show up on any particular statement count towards the minimum due, if they are posted before the due date, and some do not.  That by itself is not too much of a problem.  The problem is that payments that post after the due date, don’t get applied to the next minimum due either.  They are lost in the twilight zone.  They reduce your balance, but otherwise are treated as if they weren’t paid.

Our example:  In that particular statement we had been credited with payments totaling $900.  Our minimum due was about 500.  $600 was paid prior to May 1^st, the due date.  $300 was paid after the due date.  Either way, we met the minimum.  The next statement had total payments of about $750.  Again, the minimum, due by May 31, was about $500.  Again, $300 was paid after that date, which left only $450 on this statement that was paid prior to the due date, which was less than the minimum, and so we lost our rate (it shot up to 17.99%) and got penalties.

But actually the total payments posted since the last “due date” and the current due date was $750.  Because there was $300 that showed up on the previous statement, that was made after the due date.  Chase considers this to be “additional payments in the previous period.”  Similarly the $300 on this latest statement, made after the due date, an amount that did not help us meet our minimums on that statement, won’t be applied to the minimums for the next period either.  There is no way around the fact that we paid more than the minimums required in every period, every month, every cycle, but we still got assessed for underpayment, because Chase things they can spin their dates, in order to ignore payment we made. 

Another way to look at this is that payments made between the 12^th and roughly the end of the month, get counted toward the minimum required, but any payments made between the 1^st (roughly) and the 11^th, won’t, ever.  Yes, they reduce my total balance, they get “counted” in that way, as customer service was adamant in pointing out (before they hung up on me), but they don’t count towards the minimum due each month, even though they were paid. 

There’s a lot of fine print in these agreements, but I haven’t seen anything that says I am required to make my payments between the 12^th and the end of any given month, for them to be counted.  If I do make payments or rather, if they receive payments, outside of those days, then I need to make them again to meet my minimum!  It is as if my payment requirements went up.    

In the past, my credit card companies have always given me some latitude, even when I made a mistake, and that’s good business.  This goes beyond bad business.  This is breach of contract.  This is theft.  It’s big business bullying.

So, please, cancel your chase cards.  Please close your chase bank accounts.  You can include a little note that says, “because you have no morals,” or “you cheated a friend of mine,” or just include a copy of this, and say, “that’s why.”

And while you’re at it, if you feel like forwarding this to other people, to warn them about Chase, please feel free.

Andy Glasser

I think imagination is more powerful than most people think. It’s not just fun to “play house” or “superhero”. It’s not just a release to see a movie, a break from your daily responsibilities. I think we all possess the uncanny ability to experience what others experience through our imaginations. What could possibly be more important in this world we live in than understanding. Despite what some might suggest, that a white person cannot understand what its like to be black in America, or that a man cannot understand a woman, for example, I say we can (I’m not saying that we do, just that we can).

I had a dream last night that I was playing the trumpet. I was playing some Miles Davis music (although I wasn’t Miles Davis). It felt real, and the sound that came out was not exactly what I expected, which to me was realistic. I was playing and felt like I was playing, I heard it, I felt the difference in my lips when the horn sounded different. And then I finished the melody and moved on to improvisation, and had no idea what to do and completely botched it up.

Maybe that’s not what it really feels like to play the trumpet, but it was vivid enough that I think I know now what its like. Is it accurate? Can I know what its like to be black, without the help of someone who is sharing his perspective with me? I doubt it. Imagination isn’t made up, it doesn’t come from nowhere. But it is an ability, an uncanny ability. It is a superpower, if you will, but it has to be developed.

It sets in like the sundown

Darkness, fresh air and crickets

If only it would last

It’s when nothing needs to get done

It’s when I can sleep even though I don’t

Because I don’t want tomorrow to come

It’s the grief over not doing what I want to

Not Proud.  Not Happy.

This isn’t even who I am

I am nothing, a void.

It is emptiness.

It is stress.

It makes me tired, as it doesn’t let me rest.

It’s never arriving.

Wherever we go, there we aren’t.

The breeze through the window can’t be felt

Because the window is closed.

Feelings.  They are so cliche sometimes.  So ordinary.  Only deep to the one who is keeping them from the rest of us.  I'm talking about verse in which people express their deepest feelings about their breakup or whatever, only we can't feel it, even though we've been there.  Let it go, dammit.  Let us have it. Don't be selfish.

If you visit Hungary get an apartment on the Pes(h)t side of Budapes(h)t. The Buda side is nice, and you should visit it, but it’s a bit more residential. Pest is where the city life is. Something in the city, near the Metro would be grand. It doesn’t have to be right on the river, or on Andrassy street, it can be district 8 near Blaha Lujza or something right across the street from Pizza King on Akacfa utca (for example). I never felt unsafe anywhere I went. Spring is a good time to go. Our apartment didn’t have air conditioning, so if you go in the summer, ask about that, but for us it didn’t matter.

Get Goulash soup. It’s like beef stew and its pretty good. Try some fruit soup if you like. It varies from place to place more than the Goulash soup does. After that, get what you want, they have ham and cheese sandwiches, salads, chicken. I didn’t think that the quality of the beef was as good as in the US, so save the experimentation I went through to find out.

And you have to, I mean have to, head towards the river, go underneath the tram tracks to cross the street to the piers. Budapest has a button to cross the street (y’know, press the button for the light to turn green). It’s the only button of its kind in the world that works (at least that I’ve ever encountered). We pushed the button and the light changed. It was amazing. Try that in GA (or wherever you’re from). You know what I mean.

For breakfast, go to a MATCH supermarket, or Princess pastry shops in the METRO and get some fresh pastries. It would help to learn to count to three in Magyar (Hungarian), so that you don’t have to get them to look at how many fingers you are holding up. If you want plain water instead of club soda or half fizz, ask for “no gas” (in English). Or you can buy fruits and bread and butter, eggs if you want, and bring it back to your apartment for breakfast. But if you want fruit be mindful; for some reason we weren’t allowed to purchase our oranges. We got to the check out and the cashier said something like et uk itmoshmak lada buk? To which I replied, “nemeaton.” and she promptly put our oranges aside and didn’t let us have them. Then we had to pick up the rest of the groceries and carry them home without a bag. I think, we were supposed to weigh the oranges first, and bring our own bag, but I still don’t know.

Go to an Opera if you get a chance. We didn’t, but we toured the Opera house, which is a good alternative, and found out that not only are tickets reasonable, but the cheapest seats (up top) have the best acoustics.

Go to the Museum of Terror too. It’s a good museum.

Best of all, bring a bathing suit, and towels (or buy some before you go to the Baths, which are fed by natural and healing hot springs). We went to the Szechenyi baths, and we liked it a lot. Out by Szechenyi there is also an old zoo in which all of the buildings are landmarks, a Fun Fair old fashioned style amusement park and a circus, all of which are great fun. While there, don’t forget to pay 100 Forint (50 cents) to use the bathrooms in the park. It’s worth it to see how clean they are for public restrooms, which is also remarkable to me, coming from NY, where we used to have public bathrooms that were never clean until they closed them all, and that’s really why homeless people defecate on the streets (in NY, not Budapesht). And if you’re lucky the attendant will yell in Magyar until you realize she isn’t mad at you but is yelling about the guy who after getting caught trying to sneak into the bathrooms without paying went around the back of the building to pee (maybe the homeless people still have to go in the street after all, I don’t know).

Other things you should visit

The Labyrinth, – Budapesht’s version of France’s Catacombs, minus the skulls. After 6, they turn out the lights and let you navigate with lanterns. Before six there is a section that is open only for the courageous and not claustrophobic. We didn’t get there in time for that one so I don’t know if there are any skulls. If anyone knows, do tell.

The Paris Cafe is a good place for Ice Cream (but other places probably also have some). The Walnut ice cream is delicious.

Pictures to follow, I don't have any with me.